Balancing the Nucleus of Our Postmodern Family

Yesterday we had the 19-week ultrasound, famous as the point at which you can learn the gender of your child. I had guessed that it would be a girl.

I guessed right!!

Of course, I had a 50-50 chance of getting it right, so I can't really pat myself on the back too much for that prediction. But why did I predict that we would have a girl? Psychological reasons.

1. FEAR OF THE UNKNOWN
I feel very qualified when it comes to dealing with boys. I grew up sandwiched between two brothers, but my one sister was off to university and out of the house when I was still pretty young. She managed to instill in each of us a grudging admiration for musical theatre and period dramas before she left, so I was not completely bereft of sensitivity. Since the close of my teenage heyday of contact sports and motorcycles I have spent most of my volunteer time serving as a leader to groups of young men at church -- essentially a scout leader (aka aspiring mountain man). What I am trying to say is that I really don't have much first-hand experience with little girl stuff. I've seen lots of pictures of my neices throwing princess parties and my mind just reels. Theirs is a unknown world, and I have feared the unknown.

For months I've told myself that this baby would be girl, perhaps as a way to get my mind ready for the change from a predominantly blue world to something with pinker hues.

2. BALANCE
Humans like balance and symmetry. If you already have a boy, you can't help but expect a girl, even though it's illogical, since your chances of a girl are the same whether you have no kids or you already have 11 boys at home. Nonetheless, the mind must automatically gravitate towards that stereotypical nuclear family that is so represented by stick figures with alternating hair length and clothing choices.


I have to admit that I thought that "nuclear family" referred to the archetypal family of four depicted above, but I when I looked it up I was surprised to see that it refers to a family of two parents and their offspring, whatever the number. I learned from Wikipedia that the nucleus has been split so many ways that the preferred terminology now is "postmodern family".

I hope to provide our postmodern family with a healthy balance of tiaras, grass-stains, hiking boots and films rich with ballet dream sequences.

Most of all, I hope my baby girl will like to nap on my chest. She's going to have to get used to getting cuddled, because I am going to be relentless.

comments:

lynne said...
She is a lucky little girl to be coming to your family. I think you will make the "pink hue" adjustment very well. We are so thrilled for you and Rachelle and Scotty and for us.

Linz said...
I have the same fears about raising a boy if we have one, for the same reasons, but opposite! I'm so excited for you guys!

David and Cheryl said...
Living with girls isn't too bad. The only time it becomes difficult is when you are trying to pick a movie. Clothing, food, houses, it's all been pretty easy. Growing up pretty much as the one boy, with four sisters and a mother made for the greatest trial being how many times in a day do you have to watch "A Walk in the Clouds" with Keanu due to the popular majority vote.

Kage said...
Yeah!

Lisa said...
It's so good.

Anonymous said...
Omg!!! That's so cool!! Congratulations! Do you know what you'll name her? I'm so excited!!!
~Ariadna :)

margo said...
What a very lucky girl she will be to have so much love..especially from her dad. I'm thrilled for you guys. D I LOVE your writing. I could read it all day...well at least a good share of it.

Helen said...
I'm glad that I got on your blog or I wouldn't have seen the ultrasound. It really makes it seem more real. You've got lots of ideas of what to expect from several nieces.

Grandma Walters said...
I've been late getting to your blog, so I just found out we will have another great-granddaughter! And before she gets here we will have another great-grandson. So we are trying to even it out. You can love the second child as much as the first, you just don't think you can!! Lucky girl!