My Papercut Fell Off

Sitting at the kitchen table waiting for Scott to stop messing around and just eat his dinner--
S: Dad, would you like it if you fell off a mountain onto your eyes?
D: No.
S: ... onto your nose?
D: No.
S: ... onto your chin?
D: Yes. Wait, no.
S: I got a papercut before.
D: Really? Where?
S: It was on my hand but I think it fell off in my room.
D: Oh? It fell off?
S: Yes, it's in my room somewhere now, but I don't know where.


In the car driving somewhere--
S: [Somber tone] Dad, I only want to stay in my family, with you and Mom and my sister. I don't want to go to any other family.
D: Like who?
S: Bad guys.


Before bedtime--
S: Dad, let's have a race downstairs and then a big fight!
D: Actually, it's time for bed, so you need to put your PJs on and go brush your teeth.
S: But Dad, my legs REALLY hurt. I don't think I can walk. [holds leg and starts limping]


About Christmas--
D: Why do we celebrate Christmas?
S: Because it's Jesus' birthday!
D: Do we give him presents on his birthday?
S: No. Only we get the presents.
D: Right. So what else can you do to help make Jesus happy instead?
S: When I die I can bring him a present.